I didn’t want to put up photos of her and just go oh hey y’all, Daul Kim killed herself. The way I might mention Jane of Sea of Shoes closing her comments section.

-- Fashion Nation

Oooh, burn! That quote made me laugh. I read that post. Wait, who am I kidding? I read ALL of Jane’s posts. Freaking obsessed. Although she dropped in points when she closed her comments section. And she did drop in a one liner on Daul Kim. And Fashion Nation went up for mentioning it. –laughs again-

I hate it when the bus drops me off outside the mall. I always end up going inside and I always buy something. My first purchase was somewhat essential – a long black tube to wear inside some of my more sheer clothing. My second was nowhere near it—I was browsing through Best of Blogshops and found a really nice suede vest with fringe. Reminded me of something Jane Aldridge wore… and a little Taylor Swift-y. It was either that or a black ripped dress… but I figured I wouldn’t get as much wear out of it.

I wonder why I keep buying all these fancy accessory-type outfits when most of the time, I’m hanging around at home or at David’s apartment wearing his shapeless, worn out shirts. Don’t you find that we doll ourselves up in belts and tight whatnot just to present ourselves to society, and the moment we enter the sanctity of home, we strip and put on the rattiest, most comfortable things we can find? I never wear jeans at home for more than the ten minutes before I step out of the house and the ten minutes it takes me when I come home to take them off and look for a pair of boxer shorts. Sigh, consumerism. It consumes the best of us.

By the way, Best of Blogshops IS fantastalistic. I saw so many things I’d love to own. At really cheap (This is comparing with Aussie pre-sale prices, of course) prices too! Damn. I knew I shouldn’t have walked in. There was a 50% sale on jewellery, so I paid and legged it outta there before I could take a closer look and find something I’d inevitably end up buying.

And I never knew shoes could be so cheap. I saw a pair of ankle boots for forty bucks, and flats for twenty. Although I do not understand the tacky gems and fake rhinestones people INSIST on sticking on their flats. I want plain off-white flats! Stitching is fine. Plastic gems are NOT.

I spotted someone in Starbucks with a box bag! As in, a literal brown leather Louis Vuitton-ish (minus the monograms) box with a bag strap. It looked adorable!

<3

I think it’s a Wednesday. I’m in Singapore.

Will be leaving for Perth on Friday, coming back on the 7th I believe, then heading to KL on the 14th. All the way for two months and I’ll be going to Brisbane maybe on 13 Feb.

So can summer move along quickly?

***

Going out today to chop off two inches from my hair (more because of the split ends than anything else), and check out MacBook Pro prices in town. When I actually get off the couch, that is. Will spend the day looking for 120 film in Singapore and a place to process them—I have two exposed rolls in my bags somewhere.

I will be getting my new MacBook Pro tomorrow! Finally, no more burnt graphics cards and overheating VAIOs. I’ve already transferred all my stuff into hard drives in preparation for The Big Day.

Two new additions to my Jamie collection: Ministry of Food and Jamie’s America.

 

Some of my Jamie collection that I could rustle up.

Pictures taken with a Nikon D300. I’m fiddling around with my dad’s D300. With any luck, when we go to the IT Fair tomorrow, he’ll acquire himself a new camera; which he is planning to do, and I will get his D300 castoff! So I’m just… you know, familiarizing myself with the buttons and settings. I can hope, right?

Welcome to my messy room. I’m (1) unpacking from Brisbane, (2) packing for Perth trip and (3) putting aside clothes to pack for KL. and (4) putting things together to bring back to Brisbane.

Busy busy LAZY girl. It’s 10 AM. I should be heading out. I am sitting around, looking at the mess on the floor, watching Gossip Girl and texting David at the lab.

And now it’s 11. Okay. I’m going, I’m going…

11:35. I REALLY AM GOING NOW.

<3

So yesterday night was my first time ever going to a club. A couple of groups of friends invited me out on Monday night and David explained that there was an event of some sort. I ended up going with David and friends, as I was invited too, and as I promised mum&dad not to go without David (they figure he’d be the one person they could count on not to lose me). It didn’t matter-- I met everyone else there anyway.I took a picture of me with David’s iPhone, but it looked crappy so away it goes.
David, Paul and I met up with Edwin and a friend (eta: I DO know his name. I just don't know how many people would be okay with their names appearing on my blog) and we train-ed there. Met up with a couple of people there, and I ran into Ritoo and Laura again (we’d hung out earlier a few hours before).
I was informed by a friend that I was expected to sign a compulsory confidentiality waiver the minute I stepped through the doors (or actually, the minute we bought the first drink) to not divulge details on who was there and what they did… –laughs- I’ll play along. So those details aside, here’s what I observed:
- You probably will feel all sorts of self conscious until you get like at least some semblance of alcohol in you. You can literally see the transformation after the first couple of drinks. And a couple of my friends were pretty much drunk already and dancing crazily all over the place. Very amusing.
- It’s so LOUD. And you can’t actually see a thing. At times the lights would flash crazily and David and I would immediately start doing locking moves with our hands and fingers and waving hands at each other, because the lights actually make it look extremely real and impressive.
- You can’t go with anyone who isn’t prepared to get at least a little tipsy, loose and stupid. Self consciousness seems to have no place in a club.
- Go with a group of people you can trust not to lose you! I just grab David’s hand with one hand, and Edwin’s with the other and they kind of train/link/pull me through the crowd. And go with people who will watch out for you 24/7. Although I was more afraid of getting stabbed by needles on the ground or something than anything else—I’ve heard it happen before; people being stabbed by other druggies’ needles. Although that happened in Starbucks… but that just proves it! If it could happen in Starbucks, what more in a club?
Mmm. I’m paranoid.
I saw a girl sandwiched in between two guys. One all over her from the back and the other from the front. They looked like they were definitely going at it, humping all over each other. If it wasn’t for the clothes (and goodness knows, maybe in the dark, pants and underwear got removed that I couldn’t see), they could totally have been doing it right there in their little corner. David was trying NOT to stare, but I was blatantly looking, seeing as I was so close (barely two feet away). It was just one of those things I couldn’t tear my eyes away from – it disgusted me so much, how the guys were just literally grinding up against her like they couldn’t control themselves and worse—how she was doing all the work and pretty much allowing them to. Ugh, why don’t people have any respect for their own bodies? And how can people have so little self control and self restraint? Jeez, keep it in your pants, won’t you?
All in all, I had fun. David asked at the end of it whether I’d do it again—yeah, I probably would. Not regularly though. It’s definitely about the company you go with. I didn’t love it or hate it. It’s just like manis and pedis – fun to do once in a while.
<3

Remember those days of Twi-fandom? Pft yes, I just watched New Moon.

I remember the first time I read it—strongly Pro-Edward, as he was the only dude in the first book anyway. Then I read about Jacob, and there was no turning back. The only good thing about that book was that I could shut it if it became too bad. And then shriek at it telling Edward and Bella to both go shoot themselves.

Watching the movie, I was just bombarded with more I-want-to-smack-Bella-Swan-to-her-death moments. Shoved rudely into my face. Jeez, what a selfish b*tch.

Expect a total thousand word dissertation on the strengths of being Team Jacob, but it’s late and I’ve got a long day tomorrow.

The movie itself was boring, by the way. It would only entertain someone like me, who followed the series and went ready to make a mockery of everything and fall in love with Jacob all over again. And Dakota Fanning. She is the awesomest vampire ever.

Robert Pattinson was a better Cedric than Edward. He died sooner. But honestly, that guy looks like he’s (a) constipated… or (b) he doesn’t know how to speak english. Every word is like a torture to listen to coming out of his mouth.

<3

Perth is at least ten degrees cooler than Brisbane! THANK GOD.

Yesterday when I was heading downtown, I bumped into (well, no—she didn’t see me as she was on the phone) one of the girls I know from youth, in a LBD heading uptown. I had to smile, as I was reminded of Paul’s comment the last time we were out on a Friday night” “So THIS is what the city looks like on a Friday night!” Because we’re always otherwise occupied. I didn’t realise that shops were open til nine… I always thought late night shopping was on Thursdays… cute.

Busy day today, but I accomplished so many things. Viewed apartments and finished my applications, finished packing, did two huge loads of laundry… about one third through my Christmas cards (the illustrations get better with each card… now I’ve found my standard decoration and I’m sticking to it!).

Also, I bought my first ever Jamie Oliver crockery—a flavour shaker! David and I went around looking for one at Indooroopilly and found an awesome one for 40++ bucks. At the checkout, we found out that it was reduced to nineteen, so then I wanted one too. Ha.

Also bought an ice cream maker that was on sale!

Yes, PY, I bought an ice cream maker! Be jealous. Or just go get one too!

It has a motor, so I don’t have to do it manually. So of course, we celebrated by whipping up a pint of ice cream using Ben & Jerry’s basic recipe and adding our own ingredients and flavourings. 

Might bake a cheesecake tomorrow. But I really want to do a trial run on my gingerbread men and sugar cookies for Christmas. David’s mom’s flight is tomorrow NIGHT, so David suggested that we all bake together—I think cupcakes are our choice for tomorrow.

If tomorrow’s my baking day, Monday’s all for socialising. Meeting Adel (and maybe Doray) for a walk and breakfast at one of the cafes in West End. Meeting up with Bee, Ritoo and Laura for . R&L want to hit the South Bank city beach and grab dinner. A total of three groups of people have asked me out that night—I was wondering out loud why EVERYONE wanted to go out partying on a MONDAY night, when David explained that there was an event or something-ish.

But anyway, I decided to go with David and a bunch of his friends, and Paul wants to go too. Nice, safe environment… isn’t that what everyone always wants for their first time? Ha.

I know that I’m supposed to be looking forward to going home, but I’m not really. I’ve been miserable some of this week because it’s technically the only week of holiday that I have (that has been filled with packing and apartment hunting, which made me super grumpy). I’m jetsetting off to Perth once I reach home, then I have a week in Singapore before going to KL to work for two months. Then I’ll be going to Ipoh for Chinese New Year then back to Brisbane again. Basically, I only have a week in Singapore. Not even that. I’m home from the 8th to the 13th. I won’t get to see Bee’s Perth friends, or hang out with my own. *sighs* David says he’ll drive me over to his place every weekend and I can hang out with his friends… but he’s only gonna be there for a couple of weeks. And honestly, although I’m going to miss him, I’m going to see him 24/7 in a couple of months anyway… I haven’t seen my friends for a year! And now let’s make it two years.

SJDNBSKJHBFJHBFLJHBLSDJF. Words cannot describe how horribly frustrated and disappointed I am. Nothing that I nor anyone else can do about it, but it’s still a miserable summer. And it hasn’t even started yet.

<3

  I got that dress, by the way. I told Kat that if she ever wanted to go thrift store/bargain/sale shopping, I’m the magnet for sales. I got it at fifteen bucks and it looks so Jane Aldridge. Fits perfectly with my ankle boots (which I also got on a massive sale, by the way). The sleeves are so cool- too bad I couldn’t take em properly.

The left is supposed to be a heart made out of rubber bands. And the right is obviously David. Picking his family up from the busstop.

I love this best. The overexposed shot. It looks awesome in person. My little stuffed toy family hanging out to dry. The one of David was cool too. Although I merely just forgot that I’d taken a shot and decided to take it again. It turned out nice.

Studying at the pool. And Jerrine on the right. I think I’ll give her that print.

There are a few others as well. All taken with a Holga 120CFN. I had a very interesting conversation with the guy at the store while collecting my prints, about digital and film camera. He saw some of my ‘experiments’ and commented on them. We started off into a discussion on how digital is a lot easier than film, which is very true. Everything’s an experiment on lighting and goodness knows what. Film makes you really think about what you’re shooting, whereas everyone takes a billion shots on a digital and never looks at them again. With film, you think before taking each shot. Bright enough? Double exposure? OVER exposure? Exposure times? And it’s definitely not easy. I’ve had a few massive failures. Medium format cameras are HARD as. I sometimes wish that I got a simpler 35mm like one of my friends in youth group has, but I love my 6X6 and experimentation is fun for me.

Today had a kind of rocky start. Viewed an apartment (which I didn’t like) and then went to West End to get David’s car looked at. I was suffering from a massive headache because of the heat and the glaring sun, and the guy at the shop ended up NOT being able to look at it. I got a little melancholic after that, and when David asked, I said something like “It’s just… we went all the way out on a limb, and it ended up being a huge waste of time... and it wasn’t our fault that it happened.” And unlike any other guy, he understood what I meant, for which I was utterly grateful. And because he’s the greatest ever, he stayed in with me and cooked lunch instead of going out with his family, and I managed to get some of my packing done and we watched Grey’s while eating later on.

Went to Kel and Yen’s apartment (which has AWSOME FURNITURE, by the way!). Chillaxed with baby Janice for a bit (who for the first time ever, actually held out her arms to me to get me to carry her!). We basically talked about goals and stuff when you’re in a relationship, and I was surprised to see how easily the both of us managed to share about things, even the sticky issues. We had to tell each other what we liked about each other. I made him cover his face with a pillow for that one, and he made me do it too later. But it was very sweet… aww, I didn’t know you liked me that much! –winks- We tried to teach Janice how to do the coolest flying kiss ever (she knows how to do the traditional kind. it’s so cute!), but she said (through Kel, seeing as she’s pretty much a year and a few weeks old) that it was too complex for her. –laughs-

Step one: Kiss the air.

Step two: Blow the kiss towards the other person. Without the hand. Just *forms mouth into an O* blow.

Step three: The other person goes *GLOMP* (yes, with sound effect) and swallows it.

Step four: If you’re David, this is where you start choking and spluttering on it.

After the few days of packing and apartments and the heat, I decided to go to the city on my own and get some fresh night air. Got my prints, went window shopping for a bit then to Borders with my Starbucks shaken iced tea zen. Met Bee for a non-student-budget dinner, then went late night shopping for Christmas gifts. Fun.

Now I’m going to chillax for a bit watching Gossip Girl and reading Sarah Dessen, and then watch Flash Forward later.

<3 ya!

Just finished psyc a while ago. It didn't go very well, and all i can do is trust God for a good grade. It's not that the questions were hard (although they were tricky). It's that I was so focused on Torts (which is in an hour's time) that I didn't put in enough time into going in-depth. I skimmed through the last few chapters because I simply had no time. -sigh- We'll see! It wasn't bad. Just not good.

My last exam... I just wanna get in and get it over and done with - I've gone over Torts a billion times and I can't absorb any more. Entirely sick of it. Going to do another run through in about twenty minutes then run over to the exam venue before I can forget anything.

Tomorrow's a busy busy day. I've gotta get packing done, meeting Joanne for lunch and then apartment viewing. Praying that the apartment will be nice so that I can put in an application for it immediately. This one has the highest possibility of being processed and accepted before I go home. Bee offered to pretend to be me for the next few viewings just in case the application can't go through in time. That way, she'll pretend to be me and sign the lease. -laughs- I doubt it. I think I'll put all my hopes/prayer into tomorrow's. [I've never seen the inside- the pictures are only of the exterior]

But tonight, a bunch of people are gonna grab dinner to celebrate the end of exams.

I can't wait to go to Starbucks tomorrow and grab a toffee nut/gingerbread latte.

Okay, an hour to go. Time to go over Torts one more time.

<3

Despite having exams and all that, I feel pretty calm. Hopefully it’s the peace of God and not like, an indication that I’m failing everything (haha)!

So, this week was me pretty much thinking about things next year. What with apartments and brothers coming (well, one brother), and thinking about jobs and signing up for classes and everything. There’s the question of whether I’ll be moving on to a uni group or staying on in my current youth group (which is targeted at more of high schoolers/pre-u kids – I’m not looking down on them by using the word. I generally call everyone ‘kid’. Even my boyfriend, who’s five years older). But it’s harder relating to someone not in the same stage of life as I am, or people I have nothing in common with. So this week, I visited another group to check things out. Thank goodness I already knew a few of them there… They were a bunch of awesome people. Mostly locals, which explains why I felt a lot more comfortable with them – my parents always laughed about the fact that my brother and I are both westerners trapped in an asian body. Not completely true, but we did grow up watching everything non-asian, eating non-asian food and talking with non-asian accents… [I told David that we could form a Banana club, which made him spout out into some funky dialect about something I couldn’t understand… to show me that he could speak something other than English, no doubt] But anyway, I managed to share with a couple of people about the goings-on in my head and have them talk it out with me. I’ll spare the entire week of discussions with people and prayer, but at the end of it all, I’ve decided to stay on and attempt to serve in my current group, and re-analyze at the end of 2010. It was by no means an easy decision, but I think I’ll save the throes of obiter dicta for the people who actually should know!

I took the liberty of looking up the definition of ‘obiter dicta’ (it’s a legal term – what, I’ve got an exam tomorrow!):

1. Law An opinion voiced by a judge that has only incidental bearing on the case in question and is therefore not binding. Also called dictum.

2. An incidental remark or observation; a passing comment.

I hope that using legal terms means that I’m starting to become more lawyerish.

In other things, someone said something this week that I thought was interesting. They told me that I had the gift of being able to understand people and come down to their level and really put myself in their shoes and empathize. It was interesting, because then I felt God reveal to me certain things. That yes, He has given me that gift, but I haven’t been utilising it the way that He wanted me to. I either (1) keep my knowledge to myself while watching a train wreck waiting to happen, or (2) use it to harness my manipulative side in order to subtly hurt others. Someone told me once that I was the most manipulative person she knew—true, that was years ago, and I’ve pretty much suppressed it now… But it made me realise that while doing nothing (1) was much better than causing harm (2), I wasn’t using the gift in a Godly way or for God at all. Just like the issue I worked out with my imagination/fantasies a couple of weeks ago—that I was using it against God instead of for Him.

Someone else also said something interesting (it’s a week of revelations! I’m happy that these things keep coming up even though I’m eating again. ha.)—that when you find that you’re not getting anything, it’s time to give back. It was a way of challenging me in a way, and I’m going to think about that one a bit more, although I understand their point and what they wanted me to do. Sorry so vague, it’s something that I can’t really elaborate about.

So this week has been one of many challenges. Last week was one of inner change. But this week has all been directed outwards, it seems. Interesting. I think I know where this is headed. But me+people =… me imploding. I don’t know, I was never one who was able to get along with people whom… well, I didn’t get along with. I sense God prompting me to change that.

It’s so true – how God never lets you get too comfortable. Except that I’m so far from comfortable, it’s not even funny. Maybe it’s to make it up for the few months of holiday that I will have away from ‘real life’. Or maybe it’s God answering my prayer – that I wanted everything to be sorted out before I went home for vacation.

<3

It’s SO HOT now. The thinnest, shortest dress and I sweated right through it. Blah. Sooo not good weather for studying, but I’m afraid I have no choice—it’s crunch time.

It’s perfect skinny dipping weather, actually. Anyone have a private pool?

Actually, I’d love to nap. Fan’s blasting at full strength and I wouldn’t mind lying down for a bit…

….

Help!

Two papers tomorrow. God, give me super memorizing power!

In about… 30 hours, it’ll be all over. Please slow down the time until I finish studying!

<3

Studied, apartment hunted, went for a friend’s youth group, studied a bit more, dinner with David, Me, Ian, PeiYin, Kimberly (is it obvious that I’m going anti-clockwise around the table we were sitting at? I’ll just stop there. hahah. p.s. I love comments on my blog!) Came home, studied some more. How glamorous.

People wanna go go-karting! Maybe it’ll actually happen. Edwin said that he’d throw thumbtacks behind him so that I’d ~die. David said that all anyone would have to do would be throw chocolate off somewhere and me and my go-kart would veer off towards it. Hmph. (Won’t happen. Don’t try it.)

Concentration/memory levels at an all time low. Fadidadida. God, help me increase my memorising power!

I really want to bake cookies after exams. With the super secret recipe I coerced from Kimberly. And I need to pack, and settle apartment stuff. I wanted to go clubbing at least once before I left, but people were planning on going on Monday, and David said that everyone would be all sorts of hungover and unable to drive me to the airport the next day.

Tis the season to be jolly. Even though I’ve got two papers to go.

<3

CHRISTMAS CARDS!

You know the drill. Comment with your name and address. That’s your MAILING address, by the way. Not your email. Christmas cards sent through email aren’t really cards at all. Make it a name, a nickname… anything but your LiveJournal username. Imagine a card addressed to Sex On Hard-Wood.

That goes for everyone. Anonymous readers, LiveJournal readers… people subscribed or not subscribed to my blog… Australia, non Australian… North Pole… Put it this way, as long as the postman delivers.

Comments are screened. No one knows your address but me (I mean, no one else sent you hate mail last year, did they? See?). And I’m completely harmless. Promise.

If you got a card last year and the year before that and I’ve delivered yours in person every single year for as long as you remember, we’ll assume that I haven’t forgotten you this year and I’ll be delivering it personally as per usual.

<3

Was on RealEstate looking for apartments. Saw one on Holland Street and clicked on it, going “Hey! Holland Street! That’s nice.” And David goes “Yeah, Holland Street’s the best.” (He lives on that street) The window loads and I tilt my head, staring at it for a moment before going “Wait… this exterior looks bloody familiar… this is your building!”

And yet another one… where I go '”Okay, this is your apartment building… it’s BLOODY EXPENSIVE!” And I click on the pictures while he goes “We can be neighbours”. I see the picture of the yard and I go “Wait, this is on the ground floor too!” David laughs and points at the fence in the picture. “See that fence? Yeah, that’s our yard on the other side. We can climb over. Or knock a hole through Paul’s wall.” “Cool. I’ll bang on the wall going “I’m out of eggs!”” “Yeah, and Paul will reply “shut the f’ up!””

***

This is an interesting one. 15 Things Worth Knowing About Coffee. I caught it on my Twitter feed.

Went for Presbytery this morning then lunch at Indooroopilly with a bunch of people from David’s youth group.

Walked around for a teeny bit and spotted awesome looking cookie-cutters, rolling pins, wooden mixing bowls and decorating pens that I’ve been looking for. Albeit super ex, and that’s why I didn’t buy them. I’m planning on baking a lot while in KL because I don’t have time back home before Christmas, and I really want to bake gingerbread men and sugar cookies as pressies for Christmas. Also planning on baking a traditional New York Cheesecake for my family for Christmas – I’ve done it before, so I’m pretty confident of it turning out good. David likes it, at any rate… (although he likes it frozen, I have no idea why!)

I keep wanting to take random adult ballet classes until I get my technique back up, but something keeps telling me that if I keep putting it off I’ll never get back into really training again. So the minute exams end, I’ll go check it out (if I have time) and register for the following year before my procrastination cum laziness catches up with me.

Things to Do After Exams.

• Look for an apartment(!!!) I was supposed to go look today for a bit, but the presbytery and lunch tired me out, and I crashed for two hours the second I got home. Also suffering from mild headaches and the mother of all tummyaches. And trying to finish Torts.
• Catch up with people who have been stalking me lately… Namely Bee, Theo and Edwin. –laughs- And hang with David’s family, who arrive the day my exams end. And maybe Joanne, who’s coming from Melbourne for a medical conference.
• PACK!
• Christmas Shopping
• Move my junk from my place to David’s, where it will sit for the holidays.
• Bake. (: Hopefully bake a test batch of gingerbread cookies, because I’ve never baked them before.
• Chill at Starbucks and Borders.

<3

What am I doing? Listening in on David’s conversation with his best friend and inserting my own comments. (“I wouldn’t go see a stripper… maybe once….” “NO WAY! NO FRICKING WAY!” “Okay, hear that… girlfriend complaining…”)

Went for the Ablaze service tonight. Basically, it’s my church’s youth service. Firstly, I didn’t expect the world to recognise me! David said that I probably knew more Ablaze people than people from my own service (false, but Ablaze IS smaller. So proportion wise, probably.)… Secondly, it was kind of awesome. The preaching reminded me a lot of the normal sermons that I love – main point, talk from the main point. None of that sub-point lecture-style… We monopolized the refreshments tray after that too (Sara was David’s ex youth group mate, so she stood still while we pillaged). We talked to Torchie (the guy who preached today) and found out that David seemed to like it a lot too. At least we had fun! They’re starting a series called ‘Cow Tipping’ (why cow tipping? i don’t get it). Seems to be about money, dating, sex and… something else. David and I both visibly perked up at that, and looked at each other and went “I would go for that!” at the same time. –laughs- Too bad I’ll be back home by then.

In other news, Theo messaged me for dessert+dinner about an hour before I was supposed to leave for service. It’s kind of the third time in two weeks that he’s asked me for dinner/whatever and the third time I wasn’t free/was emo-ing/ran off before he could find me… However, he was (and still is) averse to the idea of actually scheduling a date (That would be the numbers kind of date, not the romantic-al kind, obviously – people are prone to overanalyzing, just thought I’d clarify)! Tell me, how does that make sense???

And in other other news, Edwin ends his exams today and wanted to do something. I end my exams… on Tuesday. Ha. So I might have to wait til we’re in Singapore til someone gets me drunk? Really? –laughs- (Okay, I’m more of an ice cream girl)

In other other OTHER news, my boyfriend is thinking of going to Singapore for a holiday (which is where I stay) WHEN I’M IN KL (which is where HE stays). Talk about crossed paths. And then he figured out that he could go to SG and then fly back to Brisbane with me. Which is also not happening because I don’t come back to Brissy til mid Feb, and his PHD starts in Feb.

This planning crap is so not my forte.

Lastly, David’s presbytery slot is tomorrow. [Basically, prophets make prophecies over people] I might go (although I’ve already attended twice), depending on whether I wake up. I love listening to the prophets speaking over people. Especially the ones they pick out of the crowd. It’s like God saying “I really feel your need and your hurt and I want to release you from it.” It makes me tear up just thinking about it. About the great love God has for every single one of us, that he makes an effort to speak to us through other people if we’re not getting the message. That he sees the hurting and the lost and picks them out of a crowd. It makes me feel like tearing up just thinking about it. Our God is such a loving God.

And the part that slightly embarrasses me? Honestly, I love listening because it reminds me that God exists. God is real. These prophets don’t know the congregation at all, and yet can speak the truth. It’s God! He really really is there.  Sometimes, I question my faith. A lot. Today, during Praise&Worship in service, I felt a sudden sense of guilt though. That I couldn’t just rely on faith and needed ~evidence of God. And I felt so guilty that me, tiny insignificant me, couldn’t just accept God’s tiny miracles in my life, and needed something a lot more tangible. I don’t know, does it even make sense? It makes me feel terrible now that I ever doubted His existence. And it makes me feel even worse that I needed something like this. Something blindingly obvious to stop me from doubting. I don’t know, maybe I’m just paranoid. I don’t think God’s mad at me for it at all… I hope not.

<3

Firstly,

Happy Birthday, Diya and Shrae!

May the next 365 days bring you much laughter and joy. Diya, wish you were still in Singapore so we could all hang out. Shrae… wish we talked a lot more this year. I miss the webchatting and the ~scandalous conversations. (I still have the transcript of one of You&Lou’s seriously whacked out conversations on my laptop)

xoxo.

My latest camera acquisition is the Holga 120 CFN. It’s a toy camera. A medium format film camera. Cheap. Thanks to everyone who chipped in to buy it for me. <3

A film camera is not a point and shoot. It used to be, but with digital taking over the masses, the world is too used to being able to snap-and-delete, we all forget the significance of pictures – an image captured on paper. Not on a memory card, not fated to lie in some abandoned desktop folder. This frame is costing me money to shoot and develop, so I need to make sure I take a good shot worth remembering. I want a wall like the Humphrey’s have in Gossip Girl’s second season. Filled with pictures of Jenny and Dan doing life together. (Sorry for the poor shot. I went looking for the episode and paused and did a screen shot. I love that entire scene.)

I don’t have much to take photos of. The thing I love about taking photos in film – it really makes you think before snapping the shot. Every time I click the shutter, I think “when this photo turns out, what will it mean to you? when you look at it on your wall, will it make you smile?” Look around you. How many of these people and moments in your life do you want to capture and print? It gets a little depressing when I know the answer: kind of next to none. Bleagh.

But I have discovered a love for 6X6 format pictures. It’s the one reason I love my 120 film. It’s lovely. Really pretty.

-- Next, I’m lusting after a Fuji Instax Mini. (Basically a mini Polaroid) It’s seriously SO CHEAP in China, and a friend knows someone there who can get it for me and probably do a really good deal too. Plus, film is SO CHEAP over there, I could totally stock up! We’ll see. I’m excited.

-- Like I said, I really want to learn to process and develop my own prints. I’ll start with B&W first, of course. We’ll see how it goes. (:

-- Jewellery making. I’m excited. I hope to find really nice gems to work with. The jewellery making itself is easy—it’s the charms. We’re planning on going hunting.

-- I want to take dressmaking/sewing classes someday. I can do a pretty mean cross-stitch and I can mend clothes easily enough. But I want to learn how to MAKE clothes. Get a dummy (oh gosh, it’s SO going to give me nightmares) and actually become Jenny Humphrey.

-- But for now, I want to take up baking classes. My only objection is the price. They’re EXPENSIVE AS! I’m thinking maybe I’ll settle for cake decorating/piping.

<3

You can fake a lot more than a Prada bag… But you shouldn’t have to

There is absolutely no reason for anyone, ESPECIALLY yourself to have an issue with the way you normally speak. Let the words come out the way you say them.

I do not have an accent. A couple of people from back home tell me that I have an Australian accent. A couple of people from back home tell me that I have an American accent. Australians think I sound American, and Americans think I sound Australian. The few select people from back home can sometimes get me to talk in a Singaporean accent. My boyfriend talks to me in what he calls a ‘neutral accent’. I talk back the same way. No pressure. Sometimes, I shoot things off with a vague middle-eastern tinge. Especially certain words or phrases I picked up from hanging around a whole bunch of them in my first semester. Goodness knows I hardly try to stop what comes out from my mouth, except swear words.

An acquaintance once asked me where I got my accent from. She said she wanted the same. My answer? Hannah Montana.

Okay, so I was kidding. But honestly, I never noticed. I was too busy trying to pass math and physics, to be honest… I just read a lot of books, watched a lot of movies. Got influenced by my surroundings. The same thing that happens to everyone else. I was merely interested in something and that something rubbed off on me. Everyone is different. Every. single. one. of. us. 

But why all this emphasis on the way we speak? There’s too much censoring going on with WHAT we say, why the added pressure on how we say it? Salesladies back home in Singapore treat you with more deference when you speak with a non-asian accent. It doesn’t matter if they can’t identify it (and from experience, they usually can’t). It seems to me that too many people have that mentality… If it’s not from Asia, it’s better.

And it’s almost always the asians who push that mentality. NO NO NO! Someone told me once that she felt intimidated whenever I spoke english (I don’t speak anything else… my mandarin is pretty much limited. I can’t put ‘bilingual’ on my resume… and if I ever put ‘Conversational Mandarin’ down, that’s a total white lie), because I spoke with (what some people think is) an american accent. Someone also told me that she found herself taking into account the overall ethnicity of the cohort when choosing a college course, because she felt that the blonde haired blue eyed were above her. I couldn’t help but feel slightly frustrated at that. Frustrated with society. Why are you putting yourself down?! How can anyone respect you if you don’t respect yourself? Past generations did not fight for years against gender discrimination to have women bow down to their husbands when he’s having an affair. Past generations did not fight for years against racial discrimination for us to discriminate against our own.

Discrimination happens in the world. It’s awful, it makes me tear up to think of it, and being the minority race in any society will probably allow you to have felt it. I know I have. But it only makes it worse when you’re discriminating against yourself and the way you act. And being an international student, I must say that I’ve just seen too much of this discrimination crap. And mostly coming from ourselves.

The Asian culture is brilliant. It’s colourful, it’s fantastic. And you have to admit we have MUCH BETTER FOOD (although I’d push any stir-fry aside for an awesome italian pasta). And the language… it’s pretty! Have you ever met a completely tone deaf mandarin-speaking person? Listening to someone talking rapidly in mandarin… it’s like music. And I can say that with absolute impartiality because one of my best friends has told me (with absolute seriousness) that I sound like ‘a white person trying to speak chinese’. It’s not that I’m faking it (why would i? everyone laughs at me when I speak!)—I just honestly suck. And it’s not just one culture. It’s every culture. It’s every race, every kind of person, every dimension that brings colour. Vibrance. It makes life INTERESTING.

Don't think you're below anyone else. That's the crucial thing. Other people might look up to you, look down on you, but don't rank yourself. Not with people vastly different or vastly similar to you. Especially not according to things you can't change like your skin colour or where you come from. An interest in Gossip Girl and House M.D. is no different than an interest in... say, asian dramas. No one can make you feel inferior without your permission. So don't give your permission. Please, please, don't.

The perfect world would be one without labels. Without short, tall, fat, skinny, black, white, yellow, rich, poor, gay, straight… Where people are just people, and are accepted for themselves and what they bring to the world. But until then… don’t label yourself with the bad stuff. There are too many hurdles to jump in life to even bother about putting up any for yourself to block your way.

You’re beautiful, you’re intelligent, talented, amazing and above all, completely and utterly unique.

Now go ahead and show the world. And while you’re at it, look into a mirror. Show it to yourself.

<3

+ I want these jeans. And I love Dries Van Noten’s skirts.

+ I was planning out my timetable for next year, and I realised how much time I’d devote to dance if I really went back and started training again. Oh goodness. How did I EVER manage to dance twelve hours a week previously? And you know what’s funny, I have more free time in college than I ever had in high school.

I guess it’s true what they say. If you want something done, ask a busy person to do it. This is an awesome illustration.

And next year, I plan on becoming a busy person. I want a job—two afternoons/evenings a week (Starbucks, please hire me!), ballet three nights a week and three random dance classes (I think I’m going to start up contemporary again, and I wanna take a fitness/stretching class to force myself to improve my extensions. At least until I get my technique back up again). I also wanna take baking/cooking classes! Someone teach me how to make a croquembouche! Please! I mean, I know it’s not that hard, but why would I make it on my own accord? Baking a hundred cookies would be faster. I also want to take cake decorating courses to learn how to pipe well. Maybe I’ll even pipe roses! Maybe I’ll bake my own wedding cake seven years down the road!

Or maybe not.

I also want to do Model UN. Both Model UNs next year.

I know it sounds like a whole lot, but it’s something that I’ve realised – why we all got up so early in high school. We just didn’t have the time to procrastinate! And why college kids are so darned lazy? Classes aren’t compulsory, you can lie in bed all day (especially if you’re not living with family, which is the case for me), you can keep whatever hours you want, stay out all night partying and sleep the hangover off the next day… Whatever you want. And when you don’t have any obligations, you start looking at each obligation as a chore in your life. More free time isn’t necessarily a blessing. It’s just a slow degeneration of self discipline.

Hence, procrastination. You know it’s true.

+ Starbucks red cups are in store! Bought a toffee nut latte in the city yesterday, and bought back a mini package of their ground Christmas blend. Interesting taste, that one. I kind of prefer the Sumatra blend. Definitely going to buy a few of their ceramic red cups as well as their tall Starbucks mugs (I bought one for David’s birthday, and I want one for myself now). My new apartment will have all Starbucks drinking cups! ;) [I brought back a grande red cup from Starbucks and was planning on decanting my coffee into it so I’d feel like I was at a Starbucks. David just poured it into his ceramic Starbucks mug. Okay, he was smarter.]

+ Went to Sunnybank for dinner last night with David, bought thirteen bowls of this soy bean curd dessert and drove to St Lucia (basically the college students’ suburb) and delivered them all personally door to door to David’s youth group. T’was kind of fun. And very sweet of him, if I do say so myself (although I was surprised when he suggested it. haha. i don’t know many people who would do that—or anyone at all, so hey I’m glad I’m dating the one I do know). Played a round of poker with Jason, Paul and David (Paul won. I was second).

<3

We zoom in on the back of a small television set. A man sits on the couch facing it, a takeaway box from the local Chinese perching on his lap.

A moan emits from the TV. He jerks a little. Yet another moan—he jerks again. The silence is punctuated with her moans. His eyes never leave the screen, even as he forks the noodles into his mouth, almost as though he’s afraid to miss a second.

The camera pans around slowly, tantalisingly… Until we can finally see what he’s looking at.

Please, you perv. It’s not porn, it’s tennis!

---

Okay, so I watch a lot of banned tv commercials on YouTube. They’re hilarious and full of sexual innuendos. I got the idea for my own Wimbledon banned TV advert by listening to someone working out. Grunt grunt grunt. Reminded me of watching women’s tennis. THEY really sound like they’re in the middle of something.

If you didn’t get it… well, hold onto your last few years of innocence.

<3

I kind of want these heels in black. I know a friend who has a similar pair in eggshelly/camel colours, I believe? But I THINK hers are flats. They’re Margielas (the one in the picture, that is. not the one my friend has! she loves shoes, but I doubt she’d ever spend that much… until the rich billionaire husband phase). But I’m sure there are commercial ones available. Hmm.

Bestfriend and I are going to go vintage/thrift store shopping for two days after the dreaded exams. We’ve earmarked a few somewhat promising ones, and are planning on hitting them all. Hopefully! Doing a city run for the usual stores, West End for the second hand vintage stores, Woolloongabba Antiques Centre and others… and finally Brunswick & Ann Street to check out Fortitude Valley’s wares—I’ve never been, can you believe? And Paddington Antiques Centre… We’re basically just going to explore—there are so many places I haven’t been!

And CROSS FINGERS that I’ll be able to hop by HarbourTown before I go home. David’s mom and grandma are coming, and he mentioned maaaaybe driving down for them to visit. Hopefully on a day when I’m free!

Thank you, all the BRISBANE bloggers that I’ve finally found who post pictures of their outfits and tell me where they got them. Although ‘thrifted’ gives me a delightful shiver (because to me, ‘thrifted’ has a higher probability of being 'CHEAP than ‘sale’ does)… I would be even more delighted if someone could tell me where it was thrifted FROM.

Until then, thanks to about 51 pages of Jane Aldridge, I’m hopping onto the thrift store bandwagon. Thank God I look good in hippie vintage dresses. Here’s to everyone dressing just like Zooey Deschanel!

<3

 

Me trying out Daniel’s 35mm f1.8 on my D70 body. David’s apartment is so dark, it’s hard to take good photos. This was with the widest aperture and the highest ISO possible on my camera. Which is why it’s lucky that my dad’s gifting me a f1.4 when I get back home! Can’t wait.

David was my loyal photographer (you can see him in the background…). I was going to set a timer, when he conveniently showed up. I was trying to think up nice summery outfits to wear during the holiday for my dad to take photos of. Obviously I didn’t have a choice this time seeing as it was what I was wearing all day… Dotti top (Cotton On tank beneath), belt from Supre (bought last year) and Cotton On shorts (bought in Singapore).

Third picture was me being all Taylor Swift like (I was belting out Teardrops On My Guitar while David warned me that I’d better not drop the thing…). And the fourth was in the grocery store. Me trying out the hippie look (lost my rubber band, so had to hold it up with my hand).

Anyways, one paper down today. One more tomorrow before I get a week off papers. Hopefully I’ll be able to hit up Starbucks and grab a Toffee Nut latte for having survived halfway through. This law malarkey is not fun, I tell you.

Love, lil’c.

[Found that picture on my CF card. That photo was supposed to show you that I own a NIKON. As opposed to a Canon. You know how certain families are prejudiced against either Nikon or Canon? Yup. Nikon’s our DSLR of choice. But WLW shrunk the photo down. Oh well.]